Dear Friends and Family,

We have tried many times over this past year to update our journal on our life without Quincy. On holidays and each passing season we attempt to write, but our sadness continues and there does not seem to be much to share. The emotional roller coaster of grief that we ride is still in full motion; some days are fine and others are filled with a sorrow that takes our breath away. And that’s OK. We’ve accepted the fact that our lives will never be the same. Elizabeth Edwards explains it best in her book, “Saving Graces” when she speaks of her grief on the loss of her 16 year old son in a car accident. She says, “I cannot express how deeply this boy had grown into my being, and how I will suffer his loss every day that I breathe. I cannot be cured of it, any more than I can be cured of breathing itself.”

Around Quincy’s eighth birthday in March, we started to go through some of her things. Nothing in our house has changed much over the past two years. A large stuffed animal raccoon about the same size as her still sits in the glider rocker next to her bed. It was one of her prized possession that she had won during a bingo game at UCSF. Bingo was always a fun treat for the kids, held once-a-week on Thursdays. During one of her many hospital chemos, she was the grand prize winner of the day. She was so excited to claim “the big raccoon” and hear the host announce “Quincy Lee has the first bingo of the day!” The bingo games were televised over the hospital TV so that the children stuck in their rooms could play and see all the available prizes. It had all the excitement of a TV game show and the best part was that everyone was a winner. Her bedroom is still filled with many of her stuffed animals, toys, clothes, books, dolls, and hand-me-down boy toys that she liked. She hardly had time to play with and use any of them. How do you fit a lifetime into six years? Yet, we would never trade those six years for the world.

The one continuous ray of sunshine in our lives has been our boys. Thankfully, we can truly say they are doing well and keep us moving forward. Brody is in 7th grade and Keenan in 5th. Both are doing well, enjoying their friends, and playing their plethora of sports, along with all their fantasy sports leagues. Hopefully all the energy that goes into their love of sports can be harnessed into a love for school work! In between the boys’ activities, our family has been playing a lot of tennis. The boys and I just started playing this past year. Roger is a very good player but has been sidelined with a knee injury, so it works out in our favor that we get a built-in tennis coach. Graciously, Roger is happy with this role. We have a lot of laughs on the court playing doubles as a family. I’ve even played in several women’s tennis leagues and made some wonderful new friends. I just wish I could learn as quickly as the boys! On Thanksgiving Day we started a new tradition with the “Lee Family Turkey Tennis Bowl”. Whoever pairs with Roger is usually the winner. Brody and I have been playing together and had yet to beat Roger and Keenan. By some stroke of luck that day, we actually won the match. It was a lot of fun and gave us bragging rights later that day when we spent Thanksgiving with friends.

Working on the Quincy Lee Foundation has been keeping me busy. Because Quincy was so excited about learning to read in Kindergarten and treasured reading and writing, it has felt very good to do a new bookmark each year as a fund raiser for the Foundation. In addition, I have also put together a sterling silver butterfly necklace with an amethyst crystal on it that Quincy would have loved. It has been a very creative learning experience for me, which will hopefully turn out to be a good fundraiser for the wonderful people at UCSF.

Thank you for your continued support and love of our family.

Lisa and Roger

Dearest Quincy,

Today is your eighth birthday, and your second birthday in heaven. Oh how we miss you, every moment of every day.

We’re doing our best to follow our family tradition of celebrating your birthday with your favorite meals. Breakfast looks like it will be poppy-seed bagels with cream cheese, lox, capers, red onion, and tomatoes. The boys will probably hold on the lox, capers, red onion and tomatoes. They still need you to teach them what is good in life! Your meal tonight is still under discussion. However, we’ve agreed on strawberry brownie sundaes for dessert, with extra strawberries on the side for our sweet birthday girl.

Life would be so great and so easy if you could still be sitting at the head of our table, with that sparkle in your eye, that infectious laugh and that quick wit that kept Brody and Keenan on their toes. We remember it and we feel it, we just need to see you and touch you and hear you, one more time, again and again and again. We do know though, in a special way, that you are still right here with us.

Our family continues to be blessed with much love and kindness from those near and far. We think your love for each precious day of life helped many people realize what is truly important in their own lives.
We know it has for us.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart.

Love,

Mom, Dad, Brody & Keenan